If only God were more like Starbucks! (Have we lost our minds?)

For the past few years, church growth enthusiast have heralded Starbucks as a model to be followed in regard to church growth and multiplication (for those who haven't internalized the new vocabulary, multiplication is mission work). Starbucks has been heralded as an example for creating repeat customers (repeat visitors), opening new stores (starting new churches) and how to create "community." While I can appreciate a person admiring a company that makes a product they can enjoy, I can only hope that Starbucks closing 900 locations will abate the rise in "let's do it like Starbucks" churches.

My first and foremost problem with comparing church methods to Starbucks and modeling church growth strategies after the coffee giant is the fact that Starbucks is your quintessential liberal corporation. Based in Seattle, the chain has been widely criticized for promoting unGodly causes and lifestyles if by no other means than the "The Way I See It" cups.

The Bible says "I speak to your shame. Is it so, that there is not a wise man among you? (1 Corinthians 6:5)" The context for this verse was the fact that church members were suing other church members in court. Paul was shaming the Corinthian church for seeking wisdom in heathen courts, when they possessed God's wisdom. Comparisons between the church and Starbucks, as far as I am concerned, amount to seeking worldly wisdom from worldly organizations and applying it to God's church. Did not God give us a formula for church growth? We have God's Word, we have His wisdom. Why on earth are we seeking wisdom from an organization like Starbucks?

My second problem with the often made parallel between Churches and Starbucks is the fact that they are not related. Sure, many churches have diminished valuable seating space in their sanctuaries by building coffee bars in the church buildings, but you can no compare true churches to Starbucks, neither will the marketing approach of Starbucks really benefit the churches.

First of all, Starbucks markets a product that, despite the downturn in business and the closing of 900 locations, people desire to purchase. People like Starbucks coffee, hence they are willing to pay $6 for 24 ounces of it. Contrast that with the churches. The churches, true churches, propagate the Gospel (the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ for our sins according to the scriptures.) People don't need Starbucks coffee, but they want it. People need the Gospel, but they don't want it. Disagree with me? First check Barna statistics, then check your Bible. John 3:19-21 clearly teaches that most people turn away from the Gospel because they don't want to have to own up to their sin.

You see, I could open up a coffee shop, spend $1,000 to advertise it, and be covered over in business. On the other hand, I can "start" a church, I can rent a building, put up a sign, spend $2,000 to advertise the new church, and not one soul will show up. Why? Because men liked darkness rather than light, because they didn't want their deeds to be reproved.

Seriously, I have personally designed effective marketing campaigns for clothing retailers, restaurants, cattle exchanges, horse sales, car dealerships, computer stores and repair shops, garage sales, boot repair shops, and pharmacies. These campaigns were very successful. To date, I have never designed and implemented an effective marketing campaign for a church. Why? Because people don't want the product.

So the idea that if we just adopted an image like Starbucks and marketed ourselves accordingly, we'd have first time and repeat visitors is flawed.

My third problem with the concept of modeling churches after Starbucks is closely related to the second. Starting a coffee shop is remarkably simpler than starting a church. To start a coffee shop, all you need is a name, equipment to make the coffee, knowledge of how to make the coffee, and a location. If you have the budget, you are in. Obtaining funding is the hardest part.

Starting a church is not so simple. First, just having knowledge, supplies and location is not enough. You must also have (1) the leadership of the Holy Spirit and (2) the desire, determination and perseverance to continue to share the Gospel one-to-one with lots of rejection. You see, unlike starting a coffee shop, starting a church requires you to convert people to an unpopular Gospel. Starting a coffee shop involves just letting people know you have a popular product. Many differences there.

My fourth problem is that I don't see what is so attractive about the Starbucks model of expansion. The Starbucks business model, at least up until 2009, included opening many locations in a small area, operate them at a loss to drive all competitors out of business, then jack up the prices. If a competitor opens up, buy out his lease!

What part of the model of "let's put other churches out of business" do we want to follow? (Sure, I am all for shutting down cults and false churches, but that's not what we are talking about.)

My fifth problem with the Starbucks model is that, like the video above, it is often used to criticize other churches. Notice in the video above, the producers took all that is stereotypically wrong with churches and applied them in a Starbucks setting. The video also poked fun at visitor cards, Christian bumper stickers, and outreach training methods. I saw no indication that the video's maker admitted that his church wasn't perfect. Nope. Just, "here's what's wrong with the way other churches do it. We're different. We're culturally relevant."

The Bible says "Who art thou that judgest another man's servant? to his own master he standeth or falleth. (Romans 14:4)" Who are you to go so far as to make a video to question methods other than yours?

My sixth problem with the Starbucks model is that it assumes that Starbucks has it all together in making new customers feel right at home. They don't. I've been there on more than a few occasions. I didn't know what to order, ordered a Mocha Latte (Thank you Kramer), drank my drink, and moved on. If I were to apply my experience to a church setting, it would be as if I were a first-time visitor who came in, sat on the back seat, sat for the duration of service, then left without any interaction with the church members. These scenarios happen in church. First time customers also get alienated at Starbucks. Quit idolizing them.

My last problem with Starbucks is that they are not nearly the jaggernaut that everyone believes them to be. At the outset of the recession in 2008-2009, they were one of the first companies to announce closings. More than 900 locations closed almost instantaneously. Can you imagine the panic if more than 900 Missionary Baptist Churches closed in 2009? Of course, the advantage the churches have in this regard is that they don't have to worry about their value on the stock exchange.

Of course, with the way things are going, it wouldn't shock me to hear someone laud Starbucks' closings as economic genius, and then promote the idea of closing all of our rural churches, selling the property, and using the money to open up new churches in metropolitan areas. Stranger things have happened.

God's churches were founded by God, are preserved and prospered by God, are led by God, and have been blessed and instructed by God. The church is an institution higher than any other on the face of this earth, and no organization is worthy to be compared to the church, nor is any organization worthy to become a model for the church. Get your wisdom from the Word, not Wall Street. Come on, people.