The Scarlet Letter D

Divorced people feel judged.

It doesn't matter whether you feel as if you are judging them, or not. They feel judged.

Perhaps they are. Perhaps they were abandoned by their Sunday School classes, their small groups, their friends and families when they went through their divorce. Maybe their perception of abandonment and judgment was born of the inherent loneliness that follows when your life partner is no longer a part of you.

For this reason, teaching the Biblical position on divorce has become more difficult. Everyone has been touched by this issue. They've either been divorced, or have a close friend or relative who has. Seeing the potential for hurt feelings and estranged friendships, many churches have dropped the issue altogether. Others embrace divorce, hoping to show love and acceptance to those who have endured this tragedy.

The problem with teaching God's position on divorce, the position God clearly spells out in the Bible, is that all too often we miss the fundamental premise of Christianity when we teach this doctrine. The fundamental premise of Christianity is redemption and restoration. This premise materialized in the Gospel, the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ for our sins according to the scriptures (1 Corinthians 15:3-4).

We believe that all have sinned and come short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23), and as a result, all are condemned to an eternity in Hell (Romans 6:23). However, Jesus Christ died that death on our behalf, settling God's need for justice, and He rose again conquering death and opening the doors of Heaven. We believe that we can be redeemed and restored, and welcomed into God's Kingdom as one of His children if we repent and believe that Jesus died for us on the cross (Romans 5:6-12, 1 John 2:1-2).

This is a concept that we celebrate. We celebrate the redemption in our lives. We celebrate that the Lord turned our lives around, and we are no longer lost in the darkness that once defined our lives.

We celebrate being redeemed from alcoholism, immorality, substance abuse and hopelessness. Not only that, but we celebrate when we see the Lord redeem and restore others as well. Some of the best-selling testimonials come from hardened-criminals-turned-redeemed-saints who are now spreading the good news of their salvation, and telling others how they too can be redeemed.

We love it when a man tells us about finding Christ in prison, how he went from living a ruined life to living a life that has purpose. We'll buy the book, we'll schedule special screenings of the movie, we'll invite the man to preach at our church. The story of redemption, restoration and reconciliation is an encouragement, and exciting to every believer.

Except, of course, when it comes to divorce. For some reason, unlike substance abuse, youthful sexual immorality, theft, incarceration and hedonism, divorce is treated like a permanent scar, that even after the salvation experience, one bears in their forehead. We may not intend to treat divorce like this, but we all too often preach God's plan for marriage, without including God's redemptive plan for when we fail to live up to His plan.

Divorce was never God's plan.

In Mark 10, The Pharisees asked Jesus if it was lawful for a man to divorce his wife. When Jesus asked what the Law of Moses said, they replied "Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away." (Mark 10:4).

God's attitude toward marriage and divorce was then succinctly stated by Christ in Mark 10:5-9, which say:

And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.  For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Notice what Christ did. Instead of splitting hairs over legitimate and illegitimate divorce, Christ stated God's plan. The plan of marriage was for a man and a woman to be joined together in marriage, and to stay joined together for life. However, because of the hardness of men's hearts, a provision allowing for divorce was written into God's law. In other words, if God's plan for the married life was not being followed, there was a way out for the innocent spouse.

In Matthew 19, and Matthew 5, Jesus stated that a legitimate reason for divorce is fornication. Fornication is defined as sexual immorality, which includes adultery, sex before marriage, pornography, sexual abuse, and physical and emotional abuse meant to allow for physical domination. In these cases, the offended spouse not only suffers intense emotional pain, but is also in physical danger. So, the Lord allows an escape through divorce. Ephesians gives a provision for abandonment.

In these cases, God's plan is violated, and God's word provides a remedy, as it does in other areas where His plan is violated.

So, God's law allows for divorce for certain reasons, but His plan is still for lifelong unity. Still, as broken human beings, we often fail to live up to God's plan.

Later, in Mark 10:11-12, Jesus states that getting divorced just so you can hook up with someone else is the same as committing adultery. These verses do not teach that those who have been divorced and remarried are living in eternal adultery. They merely state that divorces for the intent of sexual liberation are adultery.

Now, given God's plan for marriage, and His allowance for divorce, we need to remember that we never live up to God's plan.

For the spouse who was victimized by the fornication mentioned in Matthew 5 and Matthew 19, we need to remember that there is healing in the Lord. For the spouse that committed the fornication in Matthew 5 and Matthew 19, we need to remember that there is redemption in the Lord. For the one who committed adultery in the sense Christ mentioned in Mark 10:11-12, we need to remember that there is forgiveness, redemption and restoration in the Lord.

Even "amicable" divorces are brutal, devastating, painful, and leave one emotionally scarred. We, as the church, need to be aware of this, and remember this. We need to show our friends, brothers and sisters who have been devastated by divorce that there is healing and forgiveness in the Lord.

And when we address the issue of God's design for marriage, and His stance on divorce, we need to hold firm to what the scriptures teach, while extending the Lord's grace to those who fall short.

Who knows? Next time we might be the ones receiving the scarlet letter.

When I Struggle With Sin...

... I feel like a hypocrite.

Every week, I speak no fewer than five times about the Lord. There's my Sunday School class, the Sunday morning sermon at Grace Pointe, two small group Bible studies, and a radio show. Then, every other Sunday, I preach at the Market Place apartments.

Each sermon includes warnings against sin, encouragement to have faith in the Lord, exhortation to center one's life around the Lord, and a commission to serve the Lord. I am sincere in my belief of these things. I honestly believe that God blesses those who live their lives for Him. But preaching the Word, and practicing what I preach are two completely different things.

Monday rolls around, and I tend to fall back into the same routines as everyone else. My life becomes about making a living, paying bills, and being frustrated that my wildest dreams have yet to come true. When your focus drifts from the Lord and into the day-to-day routine, you lose that Spiritual connection to the Lord, and He begins to seem distant. When this happens, we become susceptible to temptation. Such is the case with me.

I'm not going into a confessional here, but there are times that I misrepresent Christ. There are times that I fall short of the Biblical mandate to let my light shine. There are times that I betray my faith, and my Lord. And when my eyes are opened to my fall, I begin to wonder if all this is a facade, and if I am really a rotten human being. You may have experienced the same.

How can we reconcile our salvation and our lives in Christ with the sin that "so easily besets us?" (Hebrews 12:1).

We begin by recognizing that we are not alone in this struggle. Romans 3:23 says "All have sinned and come short of the glory of God." We are all sinners, we all fall short. We all fail. Romans 3:9 says we are all under sin.

Scripture also lists examples of the great heroes of the faith who fell short of God's glory. From the depiction of David's adultery with Bathsheba, to the acknowledgement in James 5:17 that "Elijah was a man subject to like passions as we are." Yet, David and Elijah did great things for the Lord. Romans 7:15-17 describes the same struggle that the Apostle Paul had.

The lesson we take here is that our struggle neither defines us, nor limits us.

We continue by recognizing what this struggle reveals in us. There are times that you overcome, and there are times that you fail. Through each time of temptation, you learn more about your Spiritual maturity, and where you stand with the Lord. However, failure is not as devastating as you think.

Romans 7:15-17 says:

For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I. 16 If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good.  17 Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.

In Romans 7, the Apostle Paul confessed that he knew what he should be doing, and what he shouldn't be doing. He then confessed that he found himself doing the things he shouldn't (For that which I do I allow not.) He found himself doing the very things he preached against. He also confessed that he found himself not doing the things he should. (For what I would, that do I not).

Despite the disconnect between what he believed and what he preached, and what he actually did, Paul steered the conversation back to God's word. He didn't justify what he did. Rather, he promoted God's law, and declared its truth despite his failure. (I consent unto the law that it is good.)

So, if Paul knew God's law, agreed with God's law, and promoted God's law, why was he sinning? Simple. Paul understood that he was still infected with the sin nature. (Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.) This is not an excuse. He's not saying that he can continue in sin, as it's just in his nature. He is merely explaining his failure.

When we struggle with sin, we are reminded that we still have the sin nature. It's the flesh within us that desires sin, that desires the things that are forbidden. It's the same nature that wants to abdicate personal responsibility and live for the pleasure of the moment.

When we recognize the role that the sin nature plays in our struggle, we are able to move away from the notion that somehow we are just flawed, and not as good as everyone else, and we see our struggle as part of the human experience. When we understand this is a struggle everyone faces, this helps us see the struggle that others endure, and it helps us to be graceful to others when they sin.

The other thing that recognizing the role of the sin nature accomplishes is that it reminds us that conquering sin is not something we can do on our own. We need the Lord. Which brings us to our next point.

We return to our roots of faith in Christ.  In Romans 7:24-25, Paul exclaimed, "O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? 25 I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord."

In verse 24, Paul declares his inability to overcome sin, and turns to the Lord for deliverance. In verse 25, Paul trusts the Lord for that deliverance.

If you know Jesus Christ as your savior, there was a time that you surrendered, and called out to Him for salvation. At that point, you were exactly where Christ wanted you. In the days and weeks that followed, the Lord was able to lead you through a time of exponential Spiritual growth because you had total faith in Him. But, as time moves along, we drift away, and we wind up in the boat we're in today.

When you struggle with sin, and you recognize that it's part of life, and that you cannot overcome it yourself, the proper course of action is to surrender, ask God for deliverance, and trust the Lord to deliver you from that struggle. When you reach that point of surrender and faith, you are right where Christ wants you. When you reach that point of surrender and faith, God is then able to do great things in your life.

When I struggle with sin, I feel like a hypocrite, but I am not. I am a child of God, redeemed by the blood of Christ, who has not finished his race here on earth. I remember that I stand on the shoulders of giants, that others have faced these same struggles, and that the struggle with sin comes as a result of my sin nature.

The only answer is to ask God for forgiveness, and trust Him to deliver me from these temptations. When I reach that point, God brings a revival in my life. He will yours as well. Keep the faith, God is on your side.

Genesis 20: In League with God

At the end of Genesis 16, Abraham had to be feeling low. He had followed Sarah's advice to father a child with Hagar, which led to problems between Sarah and Hagar, and Sarah and Abraham. In Genesis 17, God spoke with Abraham, and reconfirmed His covenant to give Abraham a son, through whom all the promises would come. The lesson we learn from that is that God forgives sin, He incorporates the effects of our sin into His plan, and He confirms His covenant with us. He keeps us in His plan.

God reiterated His plan for Abraham in Genesis 18, once again promising a son. Abraham prayed that God would deliver Lot from the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, and we see the spirituality of Abraham was once again on the rise.

However, in Genesis 20, Abraham fell again, committing one of the oldest sins of which he was prone. Fearing his life, he told the people of Gerar that Sarah was his sister. This led to a repeat of the situation that happened with Pharoah in earlier chapters. Sarah was taken from Abraham and given to Abimelech to be his wife, but God intervened, and Sarah was given back to Abraham.

The more you study the life of Abraham, the more you learn that Abraham was far from perfect. His faith wavered. On two separate occasions, he said Sarah was his sister instead of his wife. He did that because he feared for his life. He was afraid that the people would kill him and take Sarah. He also violated God's plan for marriage by fathering a son with Hagar (Genesis 16) and fathering children with concubines (Genesis 25:6). Despite his failures, God still forgave him, and continued to work in his life. God kept His promises to Abraham.

When we fail, God forgives us and re-establishes His covenant, His plan with us. He calls us to repent, and calls us out of the sin we in which we trapped ourselves, but He restores us all the same.

God is with us, even when we fail. Abraham failed. He told the people of Gerar that Sarah was his sister. He also compelled Sarah to lie and say she was his sister. While this was actually half-true (verse 12), the aim was to deceive, thus it was a lie and a spiritual failure.

That failure came from a lack of faith. Even though God made promises to Abraham about his future and heritage, Abraham still feared the people of Gerar would kill him to take Sarah as their wife. (Sarah was nearly 90 years old at this time, which was still old back in that day. She must have been a looker.) The result is that Sarah was taken from Abraham and given to the king, Abimelech, as a wife. (They didn't know they took Abraham's wife, they thought they took his sister.)

Nevertheless, God was still with Abraham. He protected Sarah from Abimelech (verse 6), He confronted Abimelech, and He told Abimelech to return Sarah to Abraham. Abimelech obeyed.

If you know Jesus Christ as your savior, you are in league with God. He stays with you, even when you make the wrong decision. He'll discipline you, but He'll stay with you. He will also restore you from that bad decision, if you know Him as Savior. He will get you back on track. God does not cast you aside, withdraw from you, revoke your salvation, or throw you away. He will lovingly discipline you, and get you back on track. If God can not get the wayward Christian to repent, He calls them home.

God calls heathens to repentance. Abimelech was a pagan king. He had multiple wives, but was basically a good ole boy. However, he didn't fear the LORD. God used the occasion of Abraham's failure to reveal Himself to Abimelech. He warned Abimelech to return Sarah, and promised healing and life for obedience. God gave Abimelech space to repent. Abimelech responded by obeying God.

God calls the lost to repentance. He confronts them for their sin, calls them to repent and believe, and gives them time to repent. Have you repented and believed in Christ? Will you, if you haven't?

God wants us to be a blessing. At the end of the chapter, Abraham prayed for Abimelech, and God healed Abimelech and his people. God identified Abraham as a prophet, which means that Abraham spoke for God. Abraham was God's representative. God's will for Abraham was for him to pray for Abimelech. Abraham did. God healed Abimelech, and God revealed His power. By praying, Abraham was a blessing.

God wants us to be a blessing. We are God's ambassadors on Earth. Represent God well. Present God to the lost, evangelize, and pray for the lost. Be a blessing.

If you are a child of God, that is, if you know Christ as your savior, you are in league with God. God will work through your life. He will work around your shortcomings (possibly incorporating them into His plan), and forgive your sin. Whatever happens, God is still with you. His hand is still on you.

May God bless you in a special way today.

Genesis 16:1-13 - When Good Christian People Attack

You don't have to look very far to see someone express anger at Christians for doing something wrong, hurting their feelings, or betraying them in some way. Some days, all you have to do is log on to Facebook.

Some of this anger toward Christians is unwarranted. Sometimes, people are angry at what Christians stand for, and thus express that anger toward them. Some feel convicted of their sin, and justify it by saying the Christian is "judging them," or being "legalistic" or "hypocritical." But we'd be naive to think that Christians never sin, and Christians never hurt people.

In Genesis 16:1-13, we read about a woman named Hagar, who wound up in a world of hurt because of the actions of Abraham and Sarah.

God promised Abraham and Sarah a son, but they were old, and beyond childbearing years. So, Sarah devises a plan to have her children through her servant, Hagar. Back in those days, it was a custom that a woman could use her handmaid as a surrogate... to have children by having the handmaid have children with her husband. Hagar, a handmaid, has no say in this.

This situation causes problems. Sarah's plan, in spite of the custom of the day, was still sin. Customs and cultures do not excuse sin. This sin leads to problems between Sarah and Hagar, and it leads to hardships for Hagar.

Through reading Genesis 16, we see that even God's people mess up. Abraham and Sarah were Godly people. They lived their lives following God. They are listed in the Hebrews Hall of Fame in Hebrews 11. Some theologians have even suggested that their actions with Hagar were acts of faith. (Sarah was trying to deliver the promised son). However, what they did to Hagar was still sin. It violated God's plan for marriage (one man-one woman), and Hagar wasn't even given the option.

Now look at the level of Hagar's victimization. She's a slave. She has nothing. She has no rights. She is an Egyptian, which means she is in a foreign country serving foreign owners. Now, she even loses control of her body. Once she does have a son, he will be taken away and given to Sarah (or at least, that was the plan). When things go south, Hagar is treated harshly (Genesis 16:6)

Sometimes, Godly people hurt you. They might have good intentions, but they still hurt you. (Sometimes the intentions weren't good, but it still hurts.)

Sin always causes problems. Genesis 16:4 says "And he went in unto Hagar, and she conceived: and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her eyes." Hagar conceived a child by Abraham, and despised Sarah for it. Her anger toward Sarah led to disrespect toward Sarah, which led to problems in Abraham and Sarah's relationship, and led to Sarah dealing harshly with Hagar... to the point that Hagar had to flee.

Sin destroys peace, relationships, and lives. It creates chaos, discord and conflict.

When people hurt you, even when Godly people hurt you, God sees it. Hagar fled from Sarah, and the angel of the LORD found her by a fountain of water. The LORD told Hagar to go back to Sarah, and submit to her, and make amends. He then tells her that He has heard her affliction, and made promises concerning her son.

Genesis 16:11 says "And the angel of the LORD said unto her, behold, thou art with child, and shalt bear a son, and shall call his name Ishmael; because the LORD hath heard thy affliction." God's message to Hagar was that He heard her affliction, and He was going to work it out for her. That's why God wanted her to go back, so He could work it out for her.

God hears our afflictions. He knows what we struggle with, what hurts us, who hurts us, and He will work those things out for us. We need to allow Him to work. We need to trust Him to work.

In Genesis 16:13, Hagar responds by saying "Thou God seest me... have I also here looked after Him that seeth me?" Hagar realizes that God sees her, and that gives her reason to trust and obey Him. God is watching, God will protect, God will avenge, God will care for you.

God is real, He's living, He interacts with us. That is why we should trust Him. That is why we should obey Him.

Healing begins with forgiveness, and forgiveness begins when we take the first steps. Forgiveness simply means that you will no longer hold the person who hurt you accountable. Forgiveness is an act of faith, because you are trusting God to take care of you, to protect you, and to deal with the one who hurt you. Trust God to do that.

Hagar returned home to Sarah, and life sort of went back to normal for a while, before Abraham and Sarah had their own son. After that, an incident involving Ishmael and Isaac would lead to Hagar and Ishmael getting kicked out. Even after that, God provided for Hagar, and Abraham even continued to visit and care for her and Ishmael.

A bad experience doesn't have to end in a dark hole. It can end in a light of faith in the Lord, forgiveness and healing. Which path will you choose?

Genesis 9 - Life in the Post-Flood World

In Genesis 9, Noah and his family step off the ark to a world that has been totally changed by the flood of Genesis 7. At that time, God instructed Noah on how to live in the post-flood world. While giving Noah instructions, God told Noah that He would provide and protect him, that there would never again be a judgment by flood, and God extended his grace and forgiveness to Noah, even when he fell.

God gives protection to man. In verse 2, God said, "The fear of you, and the dread of you shall be upon every beast of the earth, and upon every fowl of the air, upon all that moveth upon the earth, and upon all the fishes of the sea, into your hand are they delivered."

In the post-flood world, food would be scarce for a while. Animals who were desperate for food would become more vicious in their search for sustenance, and man could be prey to some. So, to protect man, He gave animals an instinctive fear of man. So, God protected man.

Not only did God protect man from animal attacks, He protected man from starvation. In verse 3, "God said "Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you, even as the green herb have I given you all things." Fruits, vegetables and grain, which had been man's food supply, would be in short supply in the months following the flood. So, God expanded man's food supply to include meat.

God then set protections for man from other man. In verse 6, God said "Whoso sheddeth man's blood, by man shall his blood be shed: For in the image of God made He man." When one man kills another, He commits violence against the image of God, and God takes that seriously. So, God's penalty for murder is execution.

God then promised that He would never destroy the world in a flood again. In verse 11, God said "I will establish My covenant with you, neither shall all flesh be cut off any more by the waters of a flood, neither shall there any more be a flood to destroy the earth."

God promised to never again destroy the world with a flood. In fact, He won't destroy the world again until His judgment in the end time.

Then, in verse 13, God said "I do set My bow in the cloud, and it shall be for a token of a covenant between Me and the earth." This is, of course, the rainbow. When you see the rainbow in the sky following a rain, you have a reminder that God promised that He won't destroy the world with a flood again. You also have a reminder that God is delaying His judgment upon the earth, giving men plenty of time to repent. 2 Peter 3:9 says "The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some men county slackness, but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance."

And finally, God is gracious, even when His people fall. Verses 18-29 record how Noah got drunk and passed out naked in his tent, and the fall-out this caused in his family. From this, we learn that alcohol abuse is sinful, and it destroys lives, families and testimonies. But, we also learn how forgiving God is. Despite this sin Noah committed, God still held him in high regard. God loves us, and forgives our sin, but we have to repent and turn back to Him.

God has given us many blessings. He has met our needs for shelter and food, He comforts us after the storm by providing the rainbow, and He forgives our failures. Have you appreciated His blessings today?