While out on visitation one day, I found myself taken aback by the appearance, demeanor, language, and overall condition of a woman who actually took the time to sit and talk with me. She smoked like a freight-train, and had visible signs that go along with long-term drug abuse. The house was in horrible disarray, and she acted as if she didn't really care to get any better.
While the temptation during visitation is always to steer the conversation toward the church, how great the church is, why the person should come to church, etc etc, I have learned to allow people to talk about themselves. (A) It makes them feel better. (B) It allows me to learn more about them, so I can learn how better to minister to them.
As the woman spoke, I learned a lot. She was basically abandoned by her parents, abused, and endured unspeakable horrors. As a means to escape that situation, she turned to drugs at a young age, and wound up in a bad way. As I learned more about her experience, I came to understand that this present situation which repulsed me was actually an improvement for her. She was making progress in her life.
She still needed the Lord, I believe she still needed salvation. She needed God's guidance in her life, and she needed the healing only He could provide.
When confronted by the devastation sin has left on the life of one who has been in a bad way for a long time, a Christian can be repulsed, jump to conclusions, and even be tempted to write off the one that has had their lives basically destroyed. What we need to do in these situations is try to gain some insight into what happened. No one wakes up and decides, "I am going to trash my life with drugs, and crime, obtain a criminal record, lose my job and home, and alienate my family." No one says, "I am going to trash my body today," or, as the old commercial says, "No one ever says, I want to be a junkie when I grow up."
The dilapidation in which a sinner finds himself is the result of years of sinful choices, bad decisions piled upon each other, each with a seemingly manageable consequence... but once all those consequences have been added up, total destruction is all that is left.
Often times, these decisions are made because of the sinner's background. In John 8:38, Jesus said "I speak that which I have seen with My Father; and ye do that which ye have seen with your father." From those words, we learn that Jesus is righteous, holy and all-powerful, just like His (and our) Heavenly Father. We also learn that we tend to mimic the activities of our earthly fathers.
Remember the Drug-Free America commercial, "Parents who use drugs, have children who use drugs?" Many people today grew up in dysfunctional situations. Having never seen good decisions modeled for them, they grew up making the same dysfunctional decisions, and life seems normal to them.
Others endured abuse. Abuse toward children has devastating effects. As the child fears for his safety, his brain function shuts down the higher-level thinking, and goes into survival mode. If the child remains in this condition long enough, his higher-level thinking never develops, meaning he never learns how to think through situations, make good decisions, and link causes to effects. Further, he becomes stuck in survival mode, meaning he becomes more volatile, develops a quick temper and takes rash courses of action. (Those are all self-defense mechanisms.)
The child who grows up in that environment will eventually become an adult, still incapable of hgher-level thinking. He will still be unable to think through situations, make good decisions, and link causes and effects. Of course, he will marry, or have romantic relationships, and father children, who will then be raised in the same environment that he knew as a child. The process repeats itself.
I tell you all this, not to excuse sinful behavior, bad decisions, or to blame the parents, but to explain why people often make the decisions they do. I am not out to justify Godless living, but it is well worth the investment to get to know people, and to love them on a personal level.
To disciple someone out of a sin-devastated life takes time, patience, energy, and lots of love. There will be setbacks, and there will be times when you wonder if you are really doing any good. However, if you are willing to invest in people, you will see fruit. You will see God work miracles, and you will see lives changed for the better. When that happens, there is no greater feeling on earth. May God bless you as you minister to those around you.
