I don't know what it is... maybe it's my upbringing, maybe I've tasted the bitter fruit of failure, maybe I have an ego problem, but I can't stand to do anything half-hearted. Whatever I do, I feel like I have to be among the best at it. I have to always give it my best effort, or don't even bother.
This holds true with my radio stations, and my ministry. What I find, however, is that I am unable to program a top-notch, top-billing station AND give a first-class effort in ministering to our developing church. I am finding myself at odds with myself. Do I spend the extra effort building the station, or the church? (I know the Lord builds the church, but people still labor). While the answer may appear simple, when one realizes that their profession is the one that pays the bills, he is more inclined to spend some more time on that.
So I am coming to the conclusion that I can not build a top-rated radio station and at the same time, be a super-missionary. So, I have to make a decision... I can quit radio and go full-time ministry and suffer the financial consequences, I can keep the job but do a less-than-stellar performance at it, or I can continue my struggle. Giving God less than my best is not an option.
Do you ever struggle like this?
1 comment:
I'm sorry....di you steal this post from my brain?????
I am mr.bivocational right now too. It is hard. on the one hadn, we know tha God would neve desire for us to a less then stellar job at anything we do, and on the other hand, we think He wants us to give all for the ministry.
In theory, because every case is different, I would think God would want us to do a stellar job in all we do while making all we do part of THE MINISTRY. In the same way I have to constantly ask myself, "am I bettering the minstry in Henderson while working at this school plunging toilets?" you can ask yourself is all you are doing can be dine in the vane of ministry. (wow this sounds like preacher answer----answering with no answer).
Has God provided the work?
Has God provided the ministry?
If yes, then what in the world was He expecting?
(excerpts from the book "Weird questions often tackled in Cory's life with no real answer")
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